|
|
Alternatives to spanking: Positive parenting:
|
Discipline vs punishment: Not just semantics
While punishment is a "penalty" for misbehavior, discipline is a method
of teaching a child right from wrong. Punishment can be physical, as in
spanking; or it can be psychological, as in expressing verbal
disapproval, isolating a child in his or her room, or taking away a
privilege. Discipline, on the other hand, is a tool that can help
children learn self-control and take responsibility for their own
behavior. Children who are raised with discipline techniques rather than
punishment are more likely to understand their own behavior better, show
independence, and respect themselves and others more.
Alternatives to physical discipline
While occasional, gentle spankings are not likely to cause children
lasting damage, intense, repetitive spankings can lead to mental anguish
in children, damage their self-esteem, increase their risk for
depression, and leave them feeling bitter, resentful or angry. Intense
spanking teaches children that violence is a way to solve problems and
can lead to aggressive behavior in the future. Here are some positive
and preventative alternatives to spanking:
Be a positive role model. Most children learn behaviors by observing
their parents' actions. So parents must model the ways in which they
want their children to behave.
Set rules and consequences. Make rules that are reasonable, fair,
realistic and appropriate to a child's level of development. Explain the
rules to children along with the consequences of not following them.
Encourage and reward good behavior. When children are behaving
appropriately, tell them so. In addition to giving verbal praise,
occasionally reward children with tangible objects, privileges or
increased responsibility.
For especially stressful times
Even the best preventative disciplinary measures aren't foolproof!
Children can reach the "melting point" and discipline becomes a reactive
thing. Parents should keep in mind these positive reactive alternatives:
Give time outs. "Time outs" involve removing children from a situation
following a negative behavior. This can help children calm down,
establish control, end the inappropriate behavior and reenter the
situation in a positive way. Make sure to explain what the inappropriate
behavior is and why the time out is needed. Tell children when the time
out will begin and how long it will last, and have them sit facing a
wall away from distractions. Set an appropriate length for the time out
based on age and level of development, usually just for a few minutes.
Constructive criticism. Once the child's temper and emotions are under
control, sit with them and talk together about ways that their feelings
might be handled differently in future situations. Offer positive
suggestions and alternatives to their choice of actions.
Redirect. Redirecting the attention, particularly of a small child, is
a good way to enforce positive behavior without resorting to spanking.
This method is a disciplinary action to distract their unfavorable
behavior away from someone or something, toward a healthier release.
Every family, and every child, is different, but establishing a basic
discipline plan early on helps when the rough spots occur. Consistent,
clear messages about boundaries and behavior expectations will go a long
way toward raising children into adults with good self-esteem and coping
skills. |
|
See more pages:
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
